For My Dad

Here you go.

Who is This Child?

Who is this child and WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH MY MILA?!?!?

Yesterday, Mila ate a few bits of fig newton, a few bites of turkey, a bottle, and took a 3 hour nap. Then she got up, ate a few bites of peas & carrots, half a slice of cheese, and played happily. Then she slept almost ALL NIGHT.

Is this because I finally got the doctor to listen to me? Probably. I can assure you, though, that she stil is refusing purees, and anything off a spoon or fork. I truly believe she does need the food therapy. She certainly won't be ready to come off of the formula at a year - most of her nutrition still depends on it.

The sleep thing is amazing. It does lead me, however, to the thought that maybe she really does have a sensory processing disorder - sleeping & eating ony at home do support that theory. Its been a welcome change though. Today will be the test though, of how she does while we are at work. If she goes back to not eating, not sleeping, I will have to re-evaluate my desire to work and her ability to cope with it. If the only thing that will help her is being home, then by God, I will quit on the spot and stay home with her.

Alex and I both have nasty colds, and Robby is just recovering from his. It was a rough couple of days with him - the advil kept the fever down but right at the 7 hour mark, it would shoot from 100 to 103 within half an hour. I'm thankful that it turned out to be just a cold though. Even if he did share it with us.

Its snowing - nothing new there. Big Yellow Gym is experiencing staffing problems and I've hired a new person who may or may not be my replacement. As *I* interviewed her, and *I* hired her, *I* would expect to be getting a pay raise. Especially as *I* hired her at a higher pay rate than my own....

The invitations are addressed and on their way out. The list of things we still have to do is slightly overwhelming...

Yogurt

Here is Mila trying to eat some yogurt. Notice how she turns her head and gags before I even get it into her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdZ2gJVlA1o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=363eNHIXCwM

Typical feeding session.

This is the face of a Feeding Disorder

Mila continues to struggle with eating. She's developed chronic diarrhea. She refuses to sleep. We are all extremely disheartened. She's keeping hydrated and may very well be gaining. But right now, all I can say is that no one is sleeping, no one is happy.

I oscillate between wanting to believe that she is just a normal, skinny little girl. But normal little girls at this age sleep at night, and nap during the day. Mila does neither. Normal little girls finger feed themselves. Mila has stopped doing this and most often just throws the food to the side. If she does get a bit in her mouth, she scrapes it out like its burning her. Normal little girls will eat purees. Especially fruity sweet purees like apple and pear puree. Mila wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Normal little girls don't gag when their hands touch something cold and slimy. Normal little girls don't choke on unthickened formula. Normal little girls have normal growth curves.

Here is a small series of pictures as I try to feed Mila a bite of bread. Look at how distressed she gets. THe last photo, she is pushing my hands away and shielding her face from me..I am trying to capture a small video soon to show this as well.

This is what happens when we feed her....

A small, sad vent

Mila was weighed Friday at the Ped and she has lost more weight. It bothers me so much. I am so tired of the fighting about it. Alex won't admit it but I think it scares him. He's all macho " She's fine, she'll just be little. " While I understand that she really will just be a thin girl, in all likelihood, it worries me at how skinny she has become. You can see and feel all her ribs. Her face is thin. Her arms are like little toothpicks. She’s a plucked chicken, for crying out loud.

It is not that I want the doctors to admit her and put in a feeding tube. Its not that at all. But I do want to figure out why she isn’t eating more, and why she doesn’t seem to be doing as well at the whole “ eating to live “ thing as other children. Other babies eat finger foods by now. Hell, most of them are practically ready to be on whole milk and no purees at all, and I can’t get Mila to eat ANYTHING off a spoon. Not delicious sweet vanilla yogurt, creamy and cool. Not spicy Spanish chicken, or chunks of potato, or cinnamon apple cereal. Nothing. She just will not eat for me. It rather heartens me that she won’t eat for anyone else, either. I’d hate it if she ate for others and not for me. I’d rather she just ate for everyone!

Robby is recovering from the stomach flu very very slowly. He’s lost some weight too, but I’m not at all concerned about him. At last check, he was 34 lbs 8 oz, which puts HIM at the 50%. That’s a great, normal, average number.

Work is still doing okay… I screwed up ROYALLY for Big Yellow Gym’s advertisement – I got BOTH addresses wrong. Big Boss Man hates my January design, which I will attempt to redo tonight, along with corrections for the February design and the Promo Folder from hell.

Alex is wrapping up Holiday Season at the gallery. Coworker is on vacation, so he’s working 6 days a week, but only 10-6 instead of 12-9. I much prefer the 10-6 shift for him.

I baked two sets of cookies, oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip. Now to give them out and get in the holiday mood.