Casa De Kagan

The philosophy of BREAD.

2010-06-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

I need an apron.

I have an intense desire these days to shield my family from the nasty chemicals and processing that has become commonplace in our food chain. It bothers me that nutrients are stripped out, shortcuts are taken, and our food has become less wholesome.

I took up bread baking sometime last year, making piroshky ( little meat buns ), potato bread, cheddar bread, and a variety of other bready items. I made a challah ( a slightly overcooked success! ), cinnamon rolls ( the first was meh, the second set was decadent ), and today I made monkey bread.

There is a magic that comes from working flour, water, yeast, salt and sugar together ad coming out with BREAD. I get a kick out of putting on my apron, dusting my countertop with flour, and kneading away. I love peeking into the oven for the " spring " of the loaf - the first five minutes when the yeast become excited ( and then bake to death ).

But most of all, I enjoy watching my children munch down toast made from real ingredients. No fillers. No chemicals. No shortcuts, nothing extra, no " fortification ".I would love to be able to recreate the whole wheat wonder bread we are addicted to ( I'm sorry. I don't know why. But we are! ). I've already made burger buns, french bread, garlic bread, dill bread. We are dabbling in homemade pizza. Muffins, cornbread, cookies, cakes ( these all count as bread, right? )

A little bit of... coffee!

2010-06-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

No one will be surprised to see a whole post dedicated to coffee. After all, I am the poster child for coffee drinking mamas. I tote around a hot cup ( or two, and sometimes even THREE ) in the morning.

I grew up liking coffee ice cream but found that coffee *smelled* much better than it tasted. My first sip of coffee was a bit of a shock. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

( This is the part that surprises everyone. I hated coffee. I hated it with a strange sort of passion. )

My first really GOOD coffee experience was at Dunkin Donuts, in June of 2003. I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts and got a coupon for a free Coffee Coolatta. It was... slightly better than mediocre. It was vaguely like coffe ice cream blended up with grainy ice. It was sickeningly sweet. But it was COLD, which was what my very new to Florida self needed. Soon after, I discovered STARBUCKS! And really, Starbucks Frappichino was MUCH better than a Coolatta. Just Sayin.

But in June of 2004, I recieved a coupon in the paper that was for a FREE Iced Latte at Dunkin Donuts. I drank my first one in about twelve seconds. It was really, REALLY sweet ( much sweeter than I would have liked ) but it was absolutely delicious. I had a newborn son who wasn't sleeping much, the caffienation was great, and it was tasty.... And I was hooked. Especially once the lady at Dunkin Donuts asked me " Do you want sugar? " and I learned that it could be made sans the quarter cup of sugar in the bottom.

I often told people " I don't like hot coffee. " On the few rare occasions that I made hot coffee, I didn't even drink it. I did, however, have TWO Extra Large Iced Mocha Swirl Lattes a day. At $4.90 each, you can imagine the kind of love that was required.

When I moved to Canada, I went back to my Starbucks Frappicino. The " Iced Capp" so lovingly made at Timmies was *just*nasty*. What is in it, I have no idea. I think it is coffee flavoured syrup, not actually coffee. And when it was -30* here, I don't really want an icy cold drink. I started making my own coffee at home, and it was pretty good. I stopped adding sugar and started adding chocolate syrup. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I went from one cup a day to two cups a day when Mila was crying all the time. Then I went up to half a pot. Or a whole pot, depending on the night.

I've gotten used to Tim Horton's coffee. I've developed a love-hate with Frappicino's from Starbucks ( Oh, how I loathe paying $5 for a coffee! Even if it is reaaaaaaaaaaally good coffee. )

These days, you'll often find me with my coffee cup in hand. As the temperatures climb, I begin wishing for those frozen drinks. I am too cheap now to pay $5 for a coffee too often. And at 400 calories and full of HFCS, I don't really want to drink it. I am on the quest to make the perfect iced coffee drink at home.

My attempt at a Java Chip Frappichino was awful. Gross. BLECH. I'm surprised the kids liked it,because it was THAT bad. I made mocha iced coffee today and it was... still pretty gross, but drinkable. Through a straw. As fast as possible

Why wearing a skirt is life changing...

2010-06-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will mark the end of my self imposed " Skirt Week".

It has been life changing, and in a good way. I don't really quite understand it, but wearing pants has really lowered my self esteem. Even NICE pants. Isn't that strange? There are curves to this post baby body that I do not appreciate the world seeing, pieces of me that are battle scars from bearing three children into this world. It irks me to worry about the shape of my body, and I feel that pants accentuate that in the possible way. Then there is the issue of *DESIGN*. Ill fitting pants are as forgiving as a concrete wall. If your body shape doesn't match the shape of the jeans exactly, fabric will bag, bunch, and otherwise look ICK. I can't wear low rise jeans - which is practically all that is available at the moment. Current fashion dictates ultra low rise skinny legged jeans right now. I might as well well stuff myself into a sausage casing.

But skirts... there is something inherently womanly about skirts. They are forgiving of curves, lumps, and bumps. They show a womanly silhouette but not every single detail of your nether regions.

My personal favorite is long swishy tiered skirts. They are delicate, flowy feminine. A long skirt provides a haven for an overstimulated baby, a hand grip for a wobbly tot, and a ready basket for collecting wild flowers. A shorter skirt ( knee length, for me ) shows enough figure for my husband to be pleased, and for me to feel lovely.

The happiness I feel in a skirt overflows into my parenting, and my " wifely " duties. Wearing a skirt ( and feeling good about myself ) has provided a gentle boost in ways I didn't think it would.

And I like it.

The new resolve...

2010-06-15T09:12:00.001-07:00

Things have been ( mostly ) well.

I am reactivating the blog to write about a new direction that I've decided to take my family. I am ( temporarily ) signing off of Facebook, and most of my online " forums". I am minimizing the amount of processed food we eat. I have re-dedicated myself to being the more gentle, natural based parent that I strive to be.

I am working on feminity, not falling into the jeans and sloppy tshirt that I've been prone to lately. I do not feel good about wearing crappy, ill fitting clothes. I do not feel good about wearing a 2xl tshirt that I yoinked from my husband's drawer. I've commited to wearing a skirt every day for 1 week ( today is day 5, but I'll update on that later ).

I baked cinnamon rolls from scratch, cornbread from scratch, and tonights dinner will be using a prepackaged sauce, but I might make the bread myself.

This is the new me... and I'm loving it.

Party Hardy, my friends. And eat lots.

2009-12-06T13:42:00.000-08:00

We got over a foot of nastiness dumped on us over the last few days. Gross. I couldn't make it out of my parking stall for the damned wind drifted snow, and the roads were about as big of a mess as I've ever seen them. And its not like we had reason to stay home, with everyone semi healthy to mostly healthy.

( Semi to mostly is all I ask for these days, LOL )

I baked a loaf of onion dill bread. oh... onion dill bread, how I love thee. The base was ( again ) Arie's sour cream potato bread. MMMMMM. Actually, it was horrible and i refuse to admit that I ate nearly half the loaf slathered in butter, straight from the oven.

Then I baked these graham blondies. Delicious! Folks, you must make these! oooey... Gooey. YUMMY. And mine. No, I didn't share with the children. I did share with Shannon, my " wife ". She's got two kids - one Mila's age, and one Shayla's age. It makes for lovely playdates!

Shannon's daughter had a party for her birthday yesterday and I braved the snowstorm to go out. WTF was I thinking? First Alex had to 4x4 the car out of the parking spot. ( Gee, that was lovely. The smirk on my husband's face as he EASILY got the car out of the snowdrift from hell that used to be our parking spot.... I won't share blondies with him. Ever. ) Her hubby took some pictures of the kidlets.. .and so, I share them with you.

In the oven...

2009-12-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

Out of the pan and into the fire. We're all sick. Again. Still.

I have some sort of viral walking pnuemonia complete with coughing fits. As the doctor put it : the more I cough, the more inflamed my airways become. The more inflamed my airways become, the more I will cough. He prescribed codeine.

( The side effect of which, I'm told, is that the baby will be sleepy. YAY sleepy baby PLEASE be kind to sick Mommy. )

I've been experimenting, and DAMN have there been good results :

Cheddar Salsa Bread ( from potato bread base ) 9 / 10 - if I had simply let it cook a big longer and cool QUITE a bit longer, I think it might have earned a 10. Alex ate it plain. So did most of my friends.

Beef piroshki ( Arie's recipe ) 9 / 10 - Again, i must let things bake longer.

Chicken Piroshki 10 / 10 They were horrible, and i refused to share them with anyone in case they were posioned. ( read : I ate every single last one )

"Best Recipe " Chocolate Chip Cookies 6/10 Too much brown sugar. Too sweet.

" Tollhouse " CC cookies 8/10 Needed more salt, and maybe a minute LESS in oven. Ooops.

Peanut Butter Cookies 5/10 Not peanutty enough. Not chewy, had an odd cakey flavour.

Challah 8/10 Texture was spot on. Flavour was spot on. Until i burnt it... Oops!

Potato Onion Loaves 9/10 Might mash the filling next time. Tasted fab, but fell out of the bun when I was eating it.

Carrot Cake Muffins with Whipped Cream Cheese Icing 9/10... the only downfall? I shoulda chopped the carrots smaller!

I also made Oatmeal muffins, not from scratch.... and they were damned good. But next time, I will make them from scratch!

Today...

2009-11-24T14:14:00.000-08:00

I feel accomplished!

I baked a batch of cheese & pepper bread ( oh so delicious! ), and carrot cake muffins yesterday. Hubster actually called to tell me they ROCKED. Thank god, since I was a bit worried. I do not enjoy carrot cake, and I despise cream cheese icing. Everyone loved them... I shared a few among two good friends ;-) one called to tell me she might have had a foodgasm. YAY foodgasm!

Today, I baked a batch of bbq chicken buns, and mini loaves stuffed with potato and onion. I'm very excited to see how they turn out! I forgot to brush them with butter ( oops! ) and so must wait until they are well and golden brown before removing them from the oven.

The kids are happy. Mila and Robby are upstairs playing in the playroom, and Shayla is attempting to eat puffed rice from the tray of her highchair. The dog is sleeping, and my house smells divine and I am WEARING AN APRON.

Life is good.

( I will feed you in return for doing dishes. )

Food Evolution

2009-11-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

My kitchen is a mess, but my heart is organized. I've started eating more at home, and less out on the road. I'm cooking from scratch, not just boxes and cans. The freezer holds more leftovers than it does heat n eat meals.

Today, I baked bread. From Scratch. No bread machine, no stand mixer, heck, I don't even own a single wooden spoon. I measured. I mixed. I kneaded and punched and folded and voila! I had bread dough! I felt accomplished, satisfied, and oddly at peace with the fact that yes... I'm becoming a domestic goddess. So domestic I could moo.

Menu planning is a big step in cooking at home. If I don't know what I need to make a meal, I don't have any ideas. Nothing gets defrosted, nothing gets cooked. The kids eat chicken nuggets and the adults eat... soup. Or mac n cheese. Or plain ol' cold cereal.

That isn't how I want this family fed. I want whole grains. I want real ingredients, I want home cooked food, I want the apartment to smell like love is in the air ( for you know that the way to a heart is through ones stomach - from child to adult, food speaks ).

Today was a big step with baking piroshki - it was an all day affair, with mixing and cooking and simmering, oh my! I photo'd the whole process but I'm not sure what to do with them... No one really needs to see my cooking adventures ( despite the uber tastiness that occurred - even MILA ate two piroshki! ). Both the bread recipe and the filling are my dear friend Arie's recipe. She simply decided she was making piroshki and she did, even though she'd only had them once in her whole life. I strive for that! The fact that ( omg ) I BAKED BREAD from SCRATCH ( moooo ) was a major breakthrough. I made three babies. I made cloth diapers. I baked bread from flour, water, salt, etc.

My friends are such an inspiration here - many of them have food intolerances and allergies so severe that eating out is *not* an option. Ever. It is home cooked or hungry. And I assume that their houses still get clean, their children are clothed and bathed, and their husbands go to work with a smile on their face. They don't complain about food ruts, children who won't touch vegetables, and the never ending battle against dishes. They wear aprons. They bake foreign foods and ancient grains and all sorts of delicious concoctions. It amazes me that anyone has the energy, and most of these ladies have more than three children!

So it is my goal to cook more for my family. Wholesome, real food - not food from a can.

Salami and Peanut Butter

2009-10-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

At 2 oclock on Monday, I was battling the every day, super busy, why won't the kids just give me a break cause I have a stomach ache and headache blues when an epiphany hit me :

All I'd had to eat all day was a slice of salami and a handful of peanut butter M&M's.

Take what works for you, and leave the rest is something I've often heard at my parenting group. But doing that is hard. Do I strive to be the best *I* can be? Or do I simply strive to be better than everyone else for the sake of being better?

I adore cloth diapering. I find babywearing a necessity. Breastfeeding and cosleeping are biological imperatives - my babies deserve nothing less. H1N1 scares me, but less than the idea of injecting my child with an untested vaccine. I don't buy organic and I love to drive. I yell - and ocassionaly spank - my children, but I also respect them and try to understand them.

I'm an advocate for women's rights, but I clean the house to please my hubby. I sew. I crochet ( poorly ). And I take my SUV through the timmies drive through on a much too regular basis.

And I blog. Sporadically.

A Return From the Dark sidE!

2009-10-01T09:15:00.000-07:00

It has been so long. I apologize!
I'm watching my sewing stuff take off on a local level. Here are just a few pictures of the " stuff " I've been making!

IMG00337.jpg

2009-08-21T14:50:00.001-07:00

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Two full weeks!

2009-08-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have not bought fabric for a whopping 2 weeks.

I even WENT TO THE FABRIC STORE.

I'm halfway there.

Seriously?

2009-08-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

I WANT FABRIC!

Seriously, you'd think I'd be getting over the desire, no, the NEED to go out and buy more fabric. HAHAHAHAH.

I know a girl who'd love a quilt made from THIS.

THIS Michael Miller fabric is something I'm becoming more and more attached too. It might be my first no buy end purchase!

In other news -

I am selling GTUBE PADS for special needs kiddos. Please contact me if you need any - I am selling them AT COST + SHIPPING - I don't make anything extra on these when you count in gas to the fabric store, fabric cost, and gas to the post office. And if you can't pay at all, we'll work something out.

I finished up a UFO pair of pants yesterday that Mila wore the whole day. I was really proud of Hubster in remembering who they were originally for - right up until he rolled his eyes and said he read the blog. ( DUH moment! )

Shay's amazing. I love her. I'd love her if she wasn't amazing, but she is.

Coffe is a necessity of life. Get over it or get out of my way when I'm heading for the coffee pot. Someone once told me that coffee is the fuel of motherhood. So true. SO VERY TRUE.

Day #9

2009-08-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

The dishes isn't going so well.. but I'm trying. It's better but it isn't perfect.

The fabric no buy? UNREAL. I've never *wanted* so much fabric in my life! What is WRONG with me? I have tons and tons and tons of fabric.

But its not enough.

Would it ever be enough?

My name is Sarah and I am a fabric whore.

One of the things I did while cleaning out my sewing area was find a box of UFO's. A quilt that needs finishing. ( Flannel and batting/fleece, then " quilting " it ). A pair of pants that I made for my friend's 2 year old. That two year old is now 4 and her mother and I haven't spoken in months. A dress I made for Mila when she was 6 months old. ( Though, honestly, it might fit now. ) Pants for Mila. Pants for Robby.

Here is UFO #1 now FO :

Day Two!

2009-08-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

It was nice to come down to a clean house this morning. Tonight, I think I'm going to try to remember to set the coffee pot up ahead of time. I'm really proud of myself that I managed to actually do the dishes despite the exhaustion ( read : Mila got up super early, shayla got up super early, we spent a good portion of the day at Arie's house and we were all just.that.tired ). The fabric thing is #1 on my mind. I need to sew up what I've got but there are things that I'm just DYING to buy.

this calls my name for a raggy quilt - they don't even SHIP to Canada, I'm on a no buy, and I'd need enough of it to make it not worth the shipping but i WANT IT.

I've got flannel enough to make a few raggy quilts to list up in my shop, though, and I really feel drawn to try to make soemthing out of the hoards of fabric stored all over the house. Here are some projects that I'm going to be working on this week :

I find these are really popular and thoughtful mini gifts.

I'd like to make some potholders for gifts for the holidays this year.

This is an intriguing tutorial that might be helpful - DeeDee's favorite spot under the table next to the desk has a giant piece of fake pink sheepskin that is sadly disgusting at this point. Unfortunetly for Deedee, its not washable. I think a real " pet bed " is deserved at this point. I think that I'd use snaps though, for the polyfil opening so that I could unstuff it as necessary.

Did I mention my brother and his wife are expecting a GIRL? I think they are doing purple and sage as colors, which just totally tickles my fancy. I'm not sure what I've got " in stock " for them right now, so the baby sewing will need to commence next month. I have a cute little idea for them but shhhhhh! I'm thinking of doing something similar to this fabulous thing!

Also on my sewing list ( and some things I might be able to do )

Copy this diaper pattern, which is fast becoming my favorite diaper - but I've never make a pocket diaper before!

Make something like EC diapers. I'm pretty sure I could sell these, too.

THIS local store is selling a product I make already!

Day One Down

2009-08-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

I bought no fabric today, and I am about to go and do the dishes before I head to bed. I am damned proud of myself.

And this is only day 1!

Quilt #2

2009-08-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

Currently for sale at www.colordynamic.etsy.com .... Mention the blog and recieve at 10% discount!

I pledge :

2009-08-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

Today marks the " 30 Days of ______ Challenge ".

I challenge you to do something...anything... for 30 days. Something necessary. Something special. Something you've been thinking of but just haven't done.

Today is Day #1.

I have set myself not one but TWO challenges.

I pledge to do the 30 Days of not buying fabric challenge for the entire month of August.

I pledge to do the 30 Days of a clean kitchen before bed challenge for the entire month of August.

Now, many have said " But there are 31 days in August.

There is one cheat day.

I plan to use it wisely!

Getting in our sunshine!

2009-07-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

Raggy Quilt that I made for Kim's baby OLIVIA.. Nearly impossible to see but I embroidered her name in the bottom square.

Shayla giggles and coos at her mobile these days!

Danica holding baby Shayla. Dannica calls me " Sarah Kaganovsky " every single time she speaks to me. She says " I would like to hold Sarah' Kaganovsky's baby. " and " Are we going to see Sarah Kaganovsky? " and " Look! There is Sarah Kaganovsky! "

Shayla and her bestest buddy MADISON.

Just look at the size difference. Madison is only 6 weeks older but she's got an enormous head and Shayla has a wee head!

We're going to the park, park, park...

2009-07-26T07:40:00.001-07:00

We *love* going to the park. Nothing thrills me more than a day at Hawrelak, nice and hot. Cool bottles of water, great photos, happy, exhausted, dirty children. I took 146 pictures yesterday - roughly equal to 6 rolls of film worth.... something that wasn't affordable with regular cameras.

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2009-07-20T15:17:00.001-07:00

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Skinny b!tch

2009-07-12T08:33:00.001-07:00

There is a lady at my gym who is in absolutely perfect shape... The kind the gym can't get you without a healthy dose of genetic predisposition. She works herself hard. She smiles. Her hair is highlighted and her mani pedi is absolutely perfect. I hate her.

I've never spoken to her. That doesn't stop me from secretly wishing she'd occasionally fall of her treadmill or fart from the elliptical. I hate her based on a deep desire to have that body. I have no idea if she has kids, how old she is, or whether she eats potato chips in the car at stoplights. For all I know, she could be miserable as heck, but I still envy her vision of perfect perkiness and she merrily trots away at the treadmill, perkily bouncing as she listens to her ipod.

I, on the otherhand, heave and huff and puff through my workout. I don't enjoy the gym, perferring to curse the machines as I'd they did this to my body. The lady in front of me glistens - I pour sweat. She bounces. I jiggle. But as I watch her derriere sway, I struck by a bolt of lightening.

There is nothing wrong with my life. I have three beautiful children, a loving husband. A bank account that never tells me insufficient funds. Friends who encourage me to go to the gym without telling me my fat ass needs it.

Its possible that the Lil Ms Perfect in front of me has this too - but that's her life and I'm living my life.

Even if I stare at her and secretly wish that just once she'd fall down.
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Shopping

2009-07-11T09:46:00.001-07:00

Most women will agree : shopping post partum is a lesson in humility. Nothing fits, and the woman in the mirror does not resemble you in the slightest. But truth be told, she is you, that IS your body... And the clothes you wanted to buy? Won't fit for months, if ever.

Pregnancy changes your body the same way that motherhood changes your mind. There are no more skimpy cocktail dresses, no more bikinis. No more high heels, no short shorts or mini skirts.

A few weeks ago, I started shopping for tomorrows baby shower. I was well aware that the size 14 jeans I owned wouldn't biudge past midthigh. Even spme of my sweat pants looked painted on. I wasn't surprised when a size 16 didn't fit. But I was appalled when the size 18 just barely zipped and was quite obviously too toight.

Nursing is supposed to burn huge calories but no one warns you bout the ravenous hunger that accompanies that calorie burn. I've suddenly taken to needing breakfast the moment I wake up, followed by a snack, lunch, two snacks, dinner, and a midnight meal. The constant hunger combined with a squalling infant attached to you makes you reach for grabola bars and pb&j. Healthy foods aren't appealing, and worse, its hard to make and eat a salad while nursing a squirmy child who depends on you for every ounce of the meal at all hours of the day.

I was so disheartened though. I vowed to go to the gym, and I did. The scale remains resolutely - steadfast - at 180.

But yesterday? I tried on a size 18. It dropped to the floor. The 16 was swimming. Even the size 14 was big. Admittedly, I did not press my luck and attempt a 12. But I bought the 14 and came home with a smile instead of tears.
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IMG00237.jpg

2009-07-10T13:23:00.001-07:00

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2009-07-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

I know it looks like they are squishing her... but its sibling love squishing, I promise!

We've discovered the mobile!

Mama, I am just TOO CUTE!

Look whose learning to roll!

Erg.

2009-07-05T07:54:00.001-07:00

Apparently we are still having some issues. I've gotten the comments back online, but, uh... the rest will be up soon!

To My Dad,

2009-07-04T14:38:00.001-07:00

Dear Dad,

Many years ago - shortly after I was given my Echo - you and I had a fight. I've long since forgotten what the fight was about, and honestly, given my flair for the dramatic in my teen years, I'm confident that the fight was petty.

We fought and I decided that I'd give you the silent treatment. I have no idea how long it lasted, either. Not long after, I met a friend at the diner for breakfast. After breakfast I discovered that I had locked my keys in the car... With the car still running. Brilliant, eh?

I had to suck it up and call you to come and unlock the car for me. So much for my silent treatment. I was so embarrassed to have to call you after I'd been so nasty. But I did call.

You never laughed or scolded me. You didn't refuse ( something I am sure I would have done ). You simply drove over and unlocked my door. In your mind, that is what a parent does.

It has probably been 10 years, but I think of this often. Especially now that my own kids are growing, and father's day rolls around. You handled that situation with dignity and I hope that someday I can demonstrate to my own children exactly how a parent handles things.

I'm not sure I ever thanked you, either.

So, um, thanks!

( Originally posted on father's day, but lost due to blogger issues! )
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Blogger is back!

2009-07-02T11:24:00.001-07:00

Sorry about the long, unintended hiatus. Apparently, if you repeatedly change the entire format of the blog, things disappear.

If you commented on a previous post, it should be active/visible now. Comments are still moderated, so they will not show up instantly.

There is a belated Father's day post going out to my dad. It should be up later tonight - Blogger seems to have eaten it!

Some pictures in some posts may not work. If you find one that is no longer clickable, please let me know!

Happy reading!

More pictures...

2009-06-20T07:19:00.001-07:00

Pictures

2009-06-20T07:11:00.001-07:00

Why, thank you!

2009-06-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Things I have heard recently :

You are still pregnant! When is that baby due already? ( Said while I was still holding the baby. I've lost 20+ lbs, you jerk )

Just put her down and let her cry. ( That wouldn't have gone over so well with the older one... I'd rather not try it with this one, but.. um... thanks for the advice I didn't ask for? )

The ER is no place for such a tiny baby! ( Really? Because I didn't know that? I thought maybe we could hang out for a bit, lick some dirty chairs, ya know... Normal baby stuff! )

She has a very complex history. ( Yeah... we know. )

You have your hands full. ( Yup, full of blessings. And stop looking at me like you pity me before I tell a child to barf on you. )

Oh, cloth diapering is so much extra work! ( Oddly, not so much. Whats two extra loads of laundry a week? Hot wash, cold rinse. Dry without dryer sheet. Where's the issue? )

You mean you carry around poopy diapers until you go home? ( yep... but her diapers never leak. YOU carry around poopy clothes. )

I don't think my kids woulda liked being carried in a bag like that. ( Its not a bag. I don't think she'd like a bag either. And she doesn't look terribly unhappy right now, does she? I mean... considering how she's fast asleep... )

Just pictures.

2009-06-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

A very compelling reason to use cloth diapers...

2009-06-02T14:32:00.001-07:00

I accidentally carried up a disposable diaper to the bathroom garbage.

This is what I found two hours later.

Going, Going... Gone...

2009-06-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

Insane, that is.

Being a mom has tough moments. When Robby was two weeks old and wouldn't stop crying, I thought " I can't do this. How do people do this? Will I ever be confident that I'm doing the right thing? " It turned out that he was just hungry. I fed him more, and he ate more... and he was happy.

When Mila had sleepless night after sleepless night, and was on her dozenth hour of crying, I though " This is too hard. I didn't sign up for this. "

When she was diagnosed with a heart defect, I didn't think at all. I just ... did. I don't remember how or what or really even how I felt about things until they rolled her out from the OR after her surgery. I burst into tears then, thinking " Its over. The nightmare is over. "

When she didn't get better, I thought " We'll get past this. We will find a way to help her. " And we did the best we could.

When Mila's Chiari Malformation was diagnosed, the surgeon told us that he recommended we try to fix the problem but that there was no guarantee. I agonized, privately, over the need for surgery. Surgery hurts. Mila had hurt so much already. But I thought " If there is a possibility of this helping her, we have to try. "
...........................................................
We went - the entire family - to the pediatrician a few days ago. Robby is healthy as a horse, in the 75th percentile for height and weight. He's an amazing kiddo, reasoning with the doctore and maturely waiting his turn. Even the pediatrician said that he's quite the kiddo.

Shayla is fabulous. She eats, she sleeps, she grows. No heart murmer. Nothing of any concern. She's an easy baby, and I hope ( oh, how I hope ) that she stays that way.

The pediatrician looked at Mila. He looked at Alex. He looked at me. She's doing... exactly as a two year old can be expected. Her weight is stabilized. Her personality is sparkly, glittery, happy... and defiantly two years old. She's eating orally, though still somewhat bottle dependant. She hasn't had tube feedings in nearly two months. She's sleeping through the night. There are no more nights of " Ow! Ow! Ow! " at 3am.

There was talk of weaning meds. There was talk of moving her meds to oral instead of through the tube. There was talk of removing her tube.... and I laughed. Mila won't take her meds orally. They are nasty, she's averse, she's two. We may have the tube forever just for meds, and Alex and I were totally okay with that.

Mila is on day 2 of taking all of her meds orally.

And I'm thinking Holy Crap. I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Two down...

2009-05-24T15:52:00.001-07:00

One down...

2009-05-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

Two to go!

And yes... that flesh & green blob in the bed? That's Shayla, sleeping with precariously perched pillows ( ohhhh alliteration! ) just above her head. I should have taken a picture of her, placed lovingly amongst the laundry. She slept the entire hour while I folded at a furious pace.

Oh, and I sang while I folded, too. She didn't seem to object too much, other than an omnious rumble from the diaper region. Actually... that might have been an objection.

Things here are really settling down. I took the kids to the park today - twice! They enjoyed the morning visit so much that we went back after dinner. It was really nice weather, and even Shayla got out for some fresh air. I slung her to the park and back, and she slept the entire two hours. The evening visit was a bit much for me, personally, but the kids went down for bed after bathing without a single peep.

As of this morning, I am down 21 lbs from my highest pregnancy weight. I have lots - and lots - and lots to go but I'm not really concerned. I've started tracking, if not actually attempting to stay within, WW points. I'm not eating terribly healthy but there aren't THAT many points over. Today was day 3 and I'm really feeling good about it. The hardest thing to give up will be my nightly pb&j. It helps get me through the night, hunger wise. Nursing makes you REALLY hungry.

I've also started a personal goal of drinking ALL of my water a day in addition to the coffee in the morning. I have two cups of coffee ( 3/4 of each cup, but they are BIG cups ), and then I start ticking off each of the 10 glasses of water I need to be drinking. The first day, I barely hit 10. Today, I'm sitting at 11 and will attempt to drink a bit more before bed ... when I have my hershey kiss. Sends me off to sleep sweetly :-)

Robby is growing like a weed and I cannot stop to blink or he matures even faster. He's really being a great big brother to Mila right now, and she's blossoming with his tutelage. She conquered one of her great fears today - the bridge at the park. It rattles, it moves, it shakes. And today... Mila climbed onto it with Robby and they walked across. Seventeen times. And then she did it by herself, and even went so far as to climb up the rope ladder on the side of the structure! Robby cheered her on and congratulated her when she got to the top...

And then stole her shovel. ( He is, after all, five years old and her brother. Life isn't perfect here :-)

Shayla continues to nurse, pee, poop, and sleep with amazing regularity, if not exactly when desired too. She shifted her awake period from 3am to 6am, and fell back to sleep today with enough time left for me to climb into bed. At 6ish, though, she was WAILING away while I got a glass of water. Down the stairs came protective big brother, squinting in the sunlight.

" Why is our baby crying? " he demanded. " Is she okay?"

I sent him back to bed ( no easy feat with the sunshine pouring into the house... the kids room has blackout curtains but once they've left their darkened den... the house is awfully bright come 6am ) and he actually fell asleep. I followed him up moments later and dropped myself into the bed.

When I woke up two hours later, my house smelled like fresh coffee and dishsoap. One of the best ever smells in the morning - the smell of Hubby having done the dishes and made the coffee. It's the greatest morning routine ever :-)

Now that I'm done...

2009-05-22T16:35:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm done working on this :I really need to start working on these....

It's snowing. Again. Still.

2009-05-18T16:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight, 15-20 cm of snow is expected.

Craaaaaaaaaap.

Tomorrow, Alex and I are taking Baby Shayla for a weigh in. At least, I'm planning on it if it isn't a freaking blizzard outside in the MIDDLE OF MAY. WTF, weather... just... wtf?

Shayla continues to be a pretty easy baby. Breastfeeding is getting better. She latched on like a monster the first few days and really damaged me. I won't go into it, but it was seriously, massively unpleasant for a bit there. Today though, I have a moment of " OMG " and then nothing. I'm hoping that's the end of the soreness... and if I recall correctly, it should be :-)

Mila and Robby are adjusting, though its a rocky road with Ms. Mila. Thankfully, my parents are here and have really picked up the slack with getting the kids run around and to the playground etc. It makes a huge difference in the day if both kids get to do some running around. Thankfully, the membership to the Y makes that much easier. i can't wait for summer camp to start but at least there is the indoor playground. Ya know, since its STILL FREAKING SNOWING OUTSIDE. Makes it rather hard to go to the outdoor parks.

And yes... I'm bitter. Very bitter.

Tomorrow will also be Shayla's first day in cloth! EEK! I really can't wait! I'm so excited! I'm not sure what I'm going to do about weighing her in cloth - might just stick a sposie on her for the trip itself, since I'm not that experienced with cloth yet.

HOOOOOOOOORAY!

Mothering Three

2009-05-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

Mothering three children is a feat all of its own.

There are more children than I have arms. Someone must wait, or settle for snuggling a sibling and half of mom's arm.

I cannot *quite* get up to do simple things fast enough. Thankfully, Mila is becoming potty independant. She cannot clean or rinse the potty, but she can get her pants down and go without an accident.

I cannot get to the phone fast enough, nor remember to put it back on the charger at the end of the night. This is resulting in many, many, many missed calls.

Breastfeeding an infant, and eating dinner aren't possible yet. Neither is cooking lunch for a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and nursing said infant. Especially when said infant refuses to latch deeply in any position other than upright football hold.

Jealousy is a bitch. Let's leave it at that!

2009-05-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

Dreary, happy day.

2009-05-14T05:39:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting next to a drafty window, watching the day dawning cold and sunless. The sky is an ugly concrete color, matching the mortar in the brick wall across from me. My only view is this wall, the rock filled lot below it, and a slice of sky.

My heart sings with joy.

Two years and a few months ago, I sat in this chair holding a brand new Mila. We nursed through a colorless dawn that day too, with snowflakes falling softly and silently from the dame slice of concrete sky. The same view, the same joy of that day fills me now.

Snuggled into a white flannel blanket is my third child - a daughter again. Motherhood has blessed me again, and my heart sings with happiness that simply overrides the dreary day. Shayla Nikole and I sit here - just as her sister and I sat here - waiting for discharge. Soon, I will bundle her into a pink outfit, snuggle a pink hat onto her head, and protectively buckle her tiny, squirming body into the same carseat that took Mila home. The nurse will wheel us down to the door and Shayla will meet the outside world.

Good morning, world! Are you ready?

Shayla Nikole Kaganovsky
7 lbs, 20 inches
12:30 pm May 11, 2009
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Warming up!

2009-05-02T18:44:00.001-07:00

The weather here is finally improving! With it, I'm finding a desire to go OUT and be OUTSIDE. I find myself craving long skirts and sandles ( the hippy thing again! ) And most of all, I find myself craving long days at the park, watching the littles play happily on slides. Sitting on a blanket in the sun.

Six months of snow is a rough price to pay some days. Waking up to snow in late April is depressing. But waking up, slipping into lightweight clothes and into the sunshine...

Its about damned time!!!
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Why is it snowing?

2009-04-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

Look mommy! Blowing out my candles!

The infamous lava volcano cake!

The favorite toy ( right now ) is the hungry hungry hippos game. They just loooooove it.

I am sooo not happy with the fact that its snowing. Its just... wrong... especially considering it was +22* the other day!

Wrapping up birthdays!

2009-04-23T08:12:00.001-07:00

The last of the April birthdays is over. Michael will have his celebration Sunday, and that will mark the last of this crazy month!!

Robby got clothes, a new winter jacket, rollerblades, a Leapster with games, a giant transformer, a glow in the dark ant farm, books, and two handheld games. I baked him a Volcano Cake, took him to starbucks and bought him spiderman hangers and a new piggy bank.

( The day might have been more successful minus the starbucks, which was NOT decaf... )

Now, we can concentrate on baby three to be! We have the carseats, the playpen, the swing, the stroller, the sling. There needs to be re-arranging and pulling from storage and purging and cleaning and set up... More diapers to sew! Cloth wipes and soakers to sew! Dressing gowns and baby caps... The house needs to be cleaned and organized and my parents are coming.

It is just all SO SOON! (And yet, not aoon enough )
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Getting cuter....

2009-04-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

I put Mila's pigtails in ( by sheer force ) and we played Elmo. OMG... SO CUTE. These are the webcam shots so you can see her face. She's dancing to Elmo's little song...

IMG00096.jpg

2009-04-21T18:39:00.001-07:00

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Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

If this isn't the cutest....

2009-04-21T16:09:00.000-07:00

All in a day's work.

2009-04-21T08:54:00.001-07:00

If it's not broken.. Don't fix it! I made twice as much work for myself by trying to reduce my seam allowance on a batch of three layer diapers. The idea was that a narrower seam allowance would be a marginally more generously sized diaper.

Yeah. Except that I ended up missing the inside layer. Wouldn't be a problem except that I was turning and topstitching - making the inner layer ( that I'd missed ) the diaper's outer fabric. Crap.

On every single one of the eleven diapers I'd painstakenly cut and pinned together to prevent EXACTLY this from happening...

Which I'd already added elastic too... In that tiny seam allowance. Which meant verrrry little room to go back and fix it.

Arg.

Other than that, its been pretty status quo here. Robby turns five tomorrow. Hard to believe that I've been mothering him for five years. Each year has brought something special - from his birth, to first steps, and this year comes his first day of school! Where did the time go?

He's lost most of his baby-isms, much to my dismay. No longer does he say giff fertickatick. No marshlellows. No hostipal. No more constuctions. No more girections. We haven't been to Tim Portons, or Tarducks in many months. Quite to the contrary, he'll correct me when I attempt to hold on to the last vestige of babyhood babble. ( Mila, at least, has baby language still. Hocks and hoos! Hirr it up! Hockamook! Halmart! We go hopping together. Mah baby! Put mah baby in the hling! )

Instead, Robby's language has grown by leaps and bounds in the most interesting of directions. Yesterday, he asked if we'd have nearly enough of something for dinner. He tells me "exactly" and " definitely" and "certainly". He can articulate with a clarity that is astounding in someone of his age. He picks up on words like " starving" and "exhausted" and quizzes me on their meaning, and then works them into conversations in proper context!

He asks about birth, death, and old age. He kisses my belly and ( mostly ) gently feels around my belly for the hard lump that is baby #3's rump. He brings me bread and cheese to make his sandwhich, remembers how many cups of "splendid" goes into the pitcher of Koolaid. He talks about Shabbos, lighting the candles, and being jewish.

He'll always be my baby, but he's truly not a baby. Tomorrow, when he blows out the candle on his volcano cake, he'll really be a big boy!
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Everything is good!

2009-04-10T12:48:00.000-07:00

The last photo is Robby reading to Mila. He's such a good boy and they are both REALLY enjoying reading books to each other. It is so cute to hear him attempt to remember the story!

I'm also sewing up some newborn diapers for the little one soon to arrive. Yes, I know cloth is " more work " but I'm not happy with the idea of my kid sitting on a chemical gel for the next two years. Call me a hippy. I dare ya!

Pictures please!

2009-04-05T11:06:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to mention that this is mila licking her ranch dressing, not throwing up.

The gift that keeps on giving!

2009-04-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

A new sew of paintbrushes ( we've already lost 2 of the 3 pens ) and this Aquadoodle is in use again. Almost every day since we got it, one of the children pulls it out and starts to doodle. Most of the time, admittedly, the children spend most of their time filling in the entire surface - which is fine. Usually they start off drawing roads and letters first. It really is a great, great toy.

I'm thinking about getting Robby one of the cheap digital keychain cameras - the kind walmart has at the checkout. He's obsessed with taking pictures and I thought it would be neat.

In other news : I have permission to start recovering the dining room chairs. I'm ashamed at how bad they look right now!

Whoohooooo...

2009-04-01T23:24:00.000-07:00

And the Etsy orders come ROLLING IN....

So far we have : 1 adult sundress, 2 child sized sundresses ( possibly with a hat ), 6 sleeping gowns NB sized, and a camp brochure that may or may not be completed already. I'm pretty darn happy right now LOL.

I bought some labels tonight for my outgoing package tomorrow and it took me a zillion tries to get ONE label to print. I now have a stack of labels with half cut off letters and a typo that I didn't catch.

Mila continues to do well although she woke up tonight complaining of a headache. She drank a bit of her bottle and was able to go back to sleep. I'm not sure she really had a headache but it was very reminiscent of a few months ago - a sudden outcry in the night " maaaaaaamaaaaaaa! ". She'd just had a pee and a bottle within two hours, so it was neither hunger nor the call of nature that woke her.

Robby is growing like a week - I think he's just hit another growth spurt! UNREAL! The poor kiddo is going to grow right out of his clothes if he doesn't watch out - his size 5 jeans fit him just barely right now! They are only a few months old, I don't ever remember him growing this fast before. He is such a good sleeper and even though it takes him a looooooong time and lots of encouragement, he does eat fairly well. We're still working on vegetables.

Alex is recovering from his cold ( thank goodness - I have little sympathy at this point ). The gallery seems to be slightly on the upswing. Mila was approved for disability, which means we'll be getting some additional support from that.

And me? 39 days... 39 days and baby will arrive! I have SO MUCH TO DO!

Excited Addition

2009-03-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

In addition to Project Destash -

I've been commissioned on Etsy to make a plus sized sundress.. The awsome thing is that I already HAVE the color of fabric she likes! ( actual color pictured below )HOORAY! I will have to think long and hard about how to "price" the fabric for project destash... It is 12 feet of mossy green linen that I bought within a few days of my sewing machine 2 years ago. And I'm getting paid for it?

Another addition to project destash was this dress, with the oldest pieces of fabric in my stash:

It has hereby been turned into a nightgown. It is slightly mis-sized but that is par for the course. It is my first neckline and first set in sleeves. WHOOHOO me!

Everything here at Casa De Kagan is good. Gallery seems to be on the uprise ( Thank GOODNESS ) and the fetus is kicking away. She currently has the hiccups, which is why I'm posting at 1am. Fetal hiccups are hard to sleep through. Robby is growing like a weed and is practically OUT of his 5t pants already! Not just around the waist but in height, too. The girl is eating quite a bit better and gained a TON of weight - we are holding off on tubing her when she is close to goal.

And Alex has a cold.

Summer is coming...

2009-03-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

White Shirt 2 points

Orange board shorts 2 points

2009-03-28T19:24:00.000-07:00

Destash Project #1 - 3 points
Toddler Sundress ( 1 point ), Fabric is 1 year old ( 1 point ), and bias tape is at least 1 year old ( 1 point ). Mila hates it. I will probably gift it, as it will fit any child 2-6 years old ( 6+ as a top rather than a dress )
Destash Project #2 - 4 points
Fabric - 1 year old, Ribbon 1 year old, Button 1 year old, Twill Tape 1 year old. This is a gift for our friend Kristin's little girl. Its a touch too small for Mila but its SO CUTE!

Fabric Destash#3 - PLACEMATS!

4 placemats X 2 fabrics = 8 points. They are a touch wonky, but c'est la vie. We need placemats and the kids LOVE THEM. I think that they will " flatten out" after a few washings - right now they have literally just come out of the sewing machine. And for some odd reason, the fabric does not respond to being ironed AT ALL.

( And yes... Robby promptly spilled something on his LOL )

Destashing Time!

2009-03-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

My parents are coming to visit. I'm having a baby.

OMIGOD I'm HAVING A BABY!

There is sooooooooo much to do, but one of the first things that does have to get done is pretty easy. I have a ton of fabric. A TON. No, I'm not joking, I have dozens of yards of fabric.... sitting in a linen closet. In the only linen closet.

So, I've made a pledge that I won't be buying any new fabric until I've earned 100 points for destashing! One base point per item, plus one point for each year it has been in the stash ( rounding to the .5 as necessary ), plus one point for each embellishment that has been sitting in the stash.

Stay tuned.... Pictures are coming!

The CIRCUS!

2009-03-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing new.....

2009-03-16T10:52:00.001-07:00

Nothing new going on here at Casa De Kagan. Please ignore the bloggy changes as I try to work through some bugs. I'm looking for a calm, cool, and collected blog scheme that doesn't make me want to tear my hair out.

Today ( in about an hour, truthfully ), I'll be heading to the OB and hopefully getting our Csection date. The anticipation is killing me. Oh wait... no its not. I feel like I've barely anticipated this baby at all! That is going to change though. I have some sewing projects in the works that I hope will help me connect more to the child I'm growing.

On that note... a few days ago, I was happily zipping through a second pair of jammies for Mila. She loveeeeeeeeed the first pair and jersey is much, MUCH less sweaty than fleece... I cut them out, serged them up, and was applying the the last few bits of elastic and hemming when disaster struck.

My sewing machine has been slightly squeaky for *months*. Now, I freely admit that I bought a piece of crap, bottom of the line sewing machine because I had NO IDEA how much I'd love sewing. I never anticipated using it almost daily and creating entire outfits! And quilts! And other neat things! And I certainly didn't go and research exactly what kind of sewing machine would be best... I simply went out and bought one that we could afford.

So here I am... jammies in hand, foot on the pedal. Squeak... Squeak.... SQUEAK... CRUNCH.... hummmmm........................ and somewhere between the crunch and the hummmmmm, my beloved Singer crapped out on me.

Oh. Shit.

No worries! I can oil it! I stripped the cover and saw a horrible sight. Pieces bent. One piece was actually CRACKED. Oil simply wasn't going to fix this. I bemoaned my plight - sewing machineless with a list of project wants - to a good friend and she mentioned an amazing deal at Canadian Tire. THIS was on sale!

I ran out and bought it. Heck for $70, who WOULDN"T????

I got it home, unpacked it, set it up lovingly on the table with just minor complaints ( its slightly smaller, it has *no* decorative stitches, it has a totally different bobbin set up, and it sews very very very slowly ). I went to bed with a lighter heart, got up in the morning and set about my work.

Sew, sew, sew BANG. Sew, sew, sew BANG.

Uh oh. I rethreaded it. I rethreaded the bobbin. I used a different bobbin. I used better quality thread. I checked, double checked, and triple checked that it was set up correctly and that everything * should* work.

Sew, Sew, sew BANG. oh... crap....

Each " bang " resulted in a skipped stitched and a giant loop of thread on the right side of the fabric. The sewing machine I ran out to buy?

It's a piece of crap.

Back to work!

2009-03-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

Things are settling down here at Casa De Kagan post-surgery. Soon, we'll be gearing up for Baby#3! Hard to believe! We're having some naming issues ( stay tuned! ) but starting to be excited.

Some random bits :

Menu planning is back in effect! Stay tuned *Monday's* for the entire list... from now til then :

Friday - Pasta w/ garlic bread, salad
Saturday - Quesadillas w/refried beans, Rice
Sunday - Salisbury Steak, Mashed Taters, Salad, Carrots, Sour Cream Cake ( I expect company, obviously )

Appointments needing to be scheduled : Neurosurgery, Pediatrician, Ultrasound, Nephrology.

Scheduled appointments that I've forgotten the date of : OB

More of Mila

2009-03-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

Pictures

2009-03-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

Mila, post surgery, day 1. Puffy and full of IVs.

Bandaged head.

Still sleeping!

Day two! Less puffy, no blowby. Sucking on a " pop " - mint flavoured, so she kept brushing her teeth with it.

Day three. We're weaning down on her morphine, so she's a bit on the cranky side! Baby still firmly clutched in her arms... and now she's laying on a giant unicorn pillow!

Just the way I like it....

2009-02-28T19:29:00.001-08:00

Busy busy busy! Over the past two weeks, I got back into scrapbooking. I did about a page a day and we'll see if I've qualified for the bonus - free stuff! I reaaaally enjoyed it!

I'm also nesting apparently! Amazing how organized and tidy the apartment has gotten in just a few days. I'd seriously get more accomplished if Mila would sleep more at night - I'm exhausted! But despite her frequent and increasingly nightly wakings, I've managed to : clean and organize both kids rooms, sort and organize four rubbermaid bins of clothes, clean and organize the bedroom ( what a difference it makes ), organize the bottom of the pantry ( it was bugging the daylights out of me ), sort, wash, and put away #3's clothes, and last but not least ( and probably not last either ).... I dug my sewing desk out! Holy crap, it makes a HUGE difference!

So I promptly sat down and sewed Mila a new shirt ( white body, blue calico sleeves ). Then I sewed her a new PJ set for the hospital. Next up, slippers! I dl'ed a great " frog " pattern that I'm dying to try.... Last time we were inpatient, I discovered a few things :

1) Fleece jammies are really warm and comfy. However, one piece zip up jammies are hideously difficult for a potty trained child on an IV and attached to a gtube. I was constantly battling sneaking her extension through the gtube hole in her jammies and attempting to unzip and lower them enough for her to pee without dislodging her gtube OR her iv!

2) Mila's socks got unrepairably dirty!!!! She needs warm slippers even in bed.

This time, we're going in prepared! Two piece jammies... They lack the open side & shoulder that allow her to change while on the iv, but the nurses generally allow us to take her off the iv for a few minutes to change her. The gtube can be left undisturbed while we potty her.

We are also bringing a potty. She is too heavy and likely too sore to be carried to the toilet after surgery. This way, we can just put it at the foot of the bed...

More to come... Kids are calling.

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Birthday Photos

2009-02-28T15:10:00.000-08:00

The drama of plastic.

2009-02-22T14:50:00.001-08:00

Four and a half hours later....

The new kitchen....

2009-02-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

Remember this? Yeah....

Now I'm putting this thing together:

Next year? Remind me I hate putting plastic things together!

Scrapbooked Pages

2009-02-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

Random Winter Photos

2009-02-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

Bubbles in the Bath

2009-02-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

One moment, please.

2009-02-13T12:21:00.000-08:00

AGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ARggggggggggggg! ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAR!

I feel slightly better now.

The memory card with my pictures of Mila sleeping in her new bed died this morning. I am saddened and angry. At least I remembered to yank off the vacation pictures before losing ALL of them.

I've figured out how to get them from Facebook to here, but the originals are lost. Thankfully we have another memory card but I'm still angry. I have to get more organized and actually PRINT some of these pictures!

Bath on Vacation

2009-02-04T20:52:00.001-08:00

Rashy Rashy

2009-02-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

Remember this?

2009-01-31T13:48:00.001-08:00

More pictures...

2009-01-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

Back to normal... for now.

2009-01-27T06:43:00.000-08:00

Coming back home was nice. Sooo nice. The flights went off without a hitch, both people allowing Alex to move next to us rather than across the airplane. This was wonderful, considering how many times Mila yelled " Go pee! Go pee! " and we bundled her off to the airplane washroom.... only to find out that she did not, in fact, need to pee, instead merely needing to get up and stretch her legs.

A funny thing I learned about airplanes?

All the extra emergency masks are on one side of the plane ( the right side ). Lap infants, for reasons unknown, are required to sit in the seats directly IN FRONT of the emergency exits.

These seats do not recline. At all.

Yes. Its *lovely*. While balancing Ms. Has To Go Pee on what little is left of my lap, the lady in front of me reclines ( as is her right, do not mistake my annoyance at our seat "choices" as annoyance at HER ). I attempt to do the same since my breathing room has been reduced from 12" to a mere 7", most of which was occupied with the above mentioned child's head.

But safely home again, in the comfort of our cozy apartment, I'm content. We've got a week before Mila's surgery, most of it filled to the brim with appointments that cannot or should not be rescheduled. FSCD, Feeding Clinic, OB appointments, Neuro appointments....

Back to the grind....

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

2009-01-23T20:44:00.001-08:00

2009-01-17T15:01:00.000-08:00

Mila splish splashing away. She was happy as long as we left her alone.

Mila is unaware that a wave will soon be hitting her. I said " One, two, three! " and she looked over and said " CHEESE! "

Daddy, I do not WANT to be in the water!

Safely back on land.

Robby peering over the waterfall edge of the pool.

Robby splashing happily.

My cute hubby.

Daddy, I said I don't WANT to be in the pool!!!

Look what I can do, Mommy!!!

Dancing at dinner

2009-01-17T12:35:00.001-08:00

New Baby Sling

2009-01-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

This delightful fabric ( the brown ) will be my next baby sling!!!

More Pictures

2009-01-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

I hate to keep with just photo posts, but truth be told, the computer here just will not tolerate anything else!

Just pictures...

2009-01-12T20:28:00.003-08:00

Things are lovely here but the computer is quite slow. Please accept pictures only.

Mila's Medication Chart

2009-01-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday

2008-12-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

To Grandma & Grandpa

2008-12-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

More Hanukkah Pictures

2008-12-25T10:01:00.000-08:00

Opening presents!

2008-12-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

Ms. Thang was SO EXCITED to choose her present!

Robby opening 1 present while Mila opens the other. Everyone is watching, excited to see what they get.

Mila was grinning the whole time, once she figured out how to get the wrapping paper from hell off her gift.

Looks at her grin! Hanukkah might be her favorite holdiay! Robby was smiling too, but he hadn't seen what Mila had yet. ( These presents are for sharing. )

Mila experimenting with her new aquadoodle. SHE LOVES IT! So does Robby! I was amazed at how long they played with it!

FLYing through Hanukkah

2008-12-22T13:31:00.000-08:00

Mila and Robby standing in front of the big pile of gifts. They were SO EXCITED.

Here is where FLYing comes in. This is my dirty but beloved Menorah. My mother bought it for me, and it was one of the ( few ) things that really screams " I'm JEWISH " to me. Alex has a similarly colored one, equally as disgusting. I don't know what they are made of ( I assume silver plated ) but I can't use harsh chemicals to clean them. And I really wanted them clean and shiny for Hanukkah. My house looks so good, I didn't want to light really awful looking Menorahs!

Enter baking soda toothpaste! Its hard to tell, but the whole Menorah just sparkles and shines, and it really lit up my heart.

Robby and Mila, eagerly setting up the Menorah under Uncle Michael's supervision. I didn't know, but only 1 person can light 1 menorah. You cannot light two. So Alex lit one ( complete with prayers ) and I lit the other ( complete with prayers ). The kids were entranced.

The Menorahs shortly after dinner.

Just pictures.

2008-12-21T10:52:00.000-08:00

Mila's new gtube pads.

Nothing special to update!

You know you have a special needs child when you find yourself wrapping presents with Tegaderm!

Operation FLY

2008-12-20T15:49:00.001-08:00

Operation FlyLady is still in effect! I'm happy to report that the house looks good, everyone is reasonably healthy and happy... except for the car.

Oh dear, oh dear, the car. It saddens me - greatly - to inform you all that the car is in the shop and quite ill.

The car suffered a bout of hypothermia ( much like everything else when the temperature hits -35*c ) and refused to growl to life a few days ago, despite repeated attempts. Further investigation revealed it had been unplugged by our neighbors. Sadly, it was within their rights to unplug as we had not plugged it in correctly to *our* spot, instead, into theirs.

My FIL came to the rescue and jumped the car. HOORAY!

Except that the very next morning, despite being plugged in, the car again refused to start. Enter, stage right, FIL to the rescue again. The car, however, did not start. In fact, other than a short moaning sound, it did nothing at all. ( Disclaimer.... moaning sound may have come from Hubby )

Hubby and FIL determined the battery was unsaveable, and hit the store for a new one. They installed the battery, but again, it did not start. They decided to jump it again...

This is where Murphy's law comes into effect : the cables went onto the car backwards, resulting in a small explosion and the utter deaddeadness of said car. Enter AMA.

The car now resides at the mechanics, and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, it will come home again.

Doing Better!

2008-12-16T11:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's echo went fabulously well. Don't know if we are having a he or she yet, but we've booked a regular ultrasound for Jan 6th. I'm so excited LOL.

Flylady is going really well! I didn't get ANYTHING done yesterday, but Alex pitched in and I came down to a clean house and shiny sink. For us, shiny just means empty!

On my list for today;

Clean Robby's Room
Mop Kitchen
Bath for Kids
Fold Laundry

almost everythign else is done!

On the Wagon

2008-12-14T13:29:00.001-08:00

Today, I am on the wagon. Despite heaving the contents of my ( mostly empty ) stomach repeatedly this morning, I have decided that I *have* to get back to a routine before I get(more) lazy.

Yesterday, I printed out ALL SEVEN days of chores, the Morning, Naptime, and Nightime lists, a medicine chart, etc, and I'm well on my way to making it work for me.

While I admit that I had no desire to DO anything today ( see above : vomiting makes me too tired to do much else ), I did pull out my booklet this morning and a dry erase pen and begin. Mila's Meds.. Check... Breakfast... Check...

So far today : ( Dones in Red )

Morning Routine

Mila’s Meds
Breakfast
Dressed to Socks
Make Beds
Unload Dishwasher
Laundry Pick Up
Robby’s Schedule
Weekly List - In Progress
Check Calendar
Dress Kids

Naptime Routine

Mila’s Meds
Lunch
Switch Laundry
Robby Writing - Not applicable ( not home )
Take out dinner - Not applicable ( not eating at home )

Two Minute Tidy
Swish & Swipe Bathroom
Weekly List - In Progress
Clean Computer Desk
Make Phone Calls

Sunday

Pick up / drop off Robby
Quick Living Room
Quick Bathroom
Quick Hallway
Quick Mop
Dust TV / Desk
Take Out Garbage
Toy Move
Gas In Car
Alex’s Hours

It might not look like much, but I feel better already, knowing that I can do it. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.

Mila's Tube

2008-12-13T20:30:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of the irritation caused by Mila's tube.

In Which I Ramble...

2008-12-12T17:15:00.000-08:00

I am DETERMINED to get back on Flylady. While the nausea isn't gone, it has gotten better during the day so that I, once again, have the ability to do more than lay on the couch with the kidlets and complain that I hate being pregnant.

Which I do, by the way... but more on that later.

Alex has been phenomenal about keeping up with the house to the best of his ability. The issue does not lie with what he can or cannot do, it lies in that he does not do it the way that I, Queen of the House, would do it. The fact remains, though, that Alex has been * doing it *, and I have been laying on the couch, bemoaning our decision to make me sick for six months straight.

And the other day, I attempted to dress the kids and was dismayed. Mila had no pants, and none of the shirts I liked for her. Robby had no pants, no socks, but plenty of undies and t shirts. Alex was out of jeans, out of socks, and out of undies. I was out of maternity pants and wearable tshirts ( Read : Tshirts that cover the bulge... They are in short supply ).

While I briefly debated buying new clothes, the idea of braving the mall was more scary than actually doing the laundry. I dove headfirst into the laundry room. Headfirst, of course, being the only way to get INTO the laundry room, where the piles of laundry had just about reached the top of the washer. It honestly looked like the laundry was attempting to reach the top of the washer to wash its own damn self.

I did six loads. Yes. Six. I dumped each one onto the bed, where it languished, unfolded and quickly wrinkling into unwearability, until bathtime. Since the bathtub and the bed are catty corner across the hall, I can easily keep an ear and half an eye on the kids while I fold, listening to my music. And oh, oh! Did I fold!

All of Robby's shirts on hangers... Mila's PJ's on hangers. Baskets of socks, baskets of undies. It all got folded and ( mostly ) put away. I felt accomplished. I felt like I had done something.

Until I realized that six loads had hardly made a dent.

.....................................................

And onto other things. Hopefully, more exciting than my inability to scale Mt. Washmore.

The kids are great. Robby is counting down the days till Hanukah and therefore the beginning of the countdown to Florida. Mila is growing ( albeit slowly the past 2 weeks, which is fine ). Her gtube is icky looking but CERTAINLY not infected , with a bit of granulation tissue underneath the button itself.

The 3 cases of formula were denied by Fedex. We sent them via Canada Post for less than half the cost Fedex wasn't willing to ship them for, and we hope they arrive in time.

Alex is working insane hours from now until we leave for Floria. I will miss you, my husband. I will miss you so much until I see you again.

And the pregnancy is going well. Cletus the Fetus ( known only as Coco to the baby ) will be having his/her echocardiogram on Monday at 1pm. Wednesday, I have a prenatal appointment. After that... I don't know if we have ANY appointments until we come back!!!

And me. I hate being pregnant. The nausea sucks - three mornings in a row, I puked despite the Zofran. I despise wasting $10 pills on vomit. I am also exhausted and cranky. But I do get a baby out of this, so while I am complaining, it is good natured and in the right spirit.

And now back to folding.

Oh wait, did I not mention I did FOUR MORE LOADS of laundry today, to complete the six I did yesterday, and I must now fold the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th loads.

More pictures

2008-12-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

What we did today...

2008-12-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

Anyone notice anything new about Mila?

IMG00138.jpg

2008-12-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Tim hortons

2008-11-28T08:55:00.001-08:00

We are in the car, 9 back from ordering.. Mila screaming TIMMIES!!! That's my girl!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Another picture post

2008-11-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

A really, really cute little boy.

A cackling witch with her brew.

A wrinkly nosed bubble-a-holic.

Sharing a bubble bath.

Mila playing peekaboo at the new computer.

I know I've been really bad about posting. The nausea is pretty horrible. You are stuck with another picture post.

New resources..

2008-11-25T14:35:00.001-08:00

A quick thought goes out to my parents, travelling out to pa from fl to see my sister... Hope you arrived safely!!

At feeding clinic yesterday, the therapist mentioned that we ought to seek referral to CASA of Edmonton. Not knowing what CASA is, I did my research and its a mental health program... Apparently they think Mila is crazy. Something about refusing to sleep and eat.

I'm not terribly crazy about Mila seeing a psychiatrist although if they have a feeding program, I am more than willing to try anything.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

More pictures

2008-11-21T13:40:00.001-08:00

Pictures

2008-11-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

Mila drinks chocolate milk at Tim Hortons. I bought it for Robby but she drank almost all of it. I wish it had been Whole Milk instead of 1%.

These pictures are from Halloween when we made " dirt cups. " Stay tuned for more pictures.